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A Dance with My Daddy

My wedding day back in August 2000 was such a wonderful day! It was so nice to have so many family and friends together to celebrate. I remember me and my husband just laughing all throughout the day and enjoying every minute of it. But there was someone missing… my Daddy. Both of them, actually. My adoptive dad passed away the year before, just weeks after I met my soon-to-be-husband. So my Dad didn’t get to meet him, or walk me down the aisle, or share that special father daughter dance that most brides so look forward to. At that time, I had not met my birth dad. In fact, I didn’t even know his name and thought that I may never. It would be another 17 years before we would connect.

Me on my wedding day with a picture of my adoptive dad and a memorial rose and candle.

It was the summer of 2017 when the pieces fell into place and we got to talk on the phone for the first time. It was pretty surreal and I was very nervous because I was really afraid that his response my be cold, that he may not really be interested in knowing me and I may just be an inconvenience. While I did hope for something wonderful, I knew that the chances of that were slim. It was okay, I was set to be content with whatever I could get as far as information and pictures to fill in the holes of my life and where I came from. I didn’t need anything more than that because I had already had a daddy who I loved and who adored me for my first 20 years, so I was not looking for a dad or anything like that. I was almost 40 years old for heaven’s sake and raising my own kids.

The first phone call was good. Not amazing, but not too awkward. Our connection (the phone connection, that is) was not so good, which did make things a little tricky as I would try to fill in some of the blanks where the words cut in and out, all while frantically taking notes on any and everything he said because for all I knew this was my one chance to learn about him and the rest of the family. Thankfully, that was not the first and last call with him and I think after that, we have pretty much been in contact every single day in either a text or call. But… I was still a little in shock when just a week or two later he said he was going to come visit me. What?!!! Seriously! *cue the nerves again*

It was about a month after telling me he would come visit that we would see each other for the first time. He was here for 5 or 6 days, I think, and it was just a really, really great week! (I will have to write more details about this one day…) But something happened in the first 3 days that I never expected. He became my Dad. Yeah, I know he was already my Dad, but he really became a Dad to me. I’d explain it if I could, but I really can’t. It’s just one of those things that kind of transcends understanding.

For some reason at that time, a crazy idea popped up in my head. (This is not uncommon, just ask my husband!) I wanted to put on my wedding dress and dance with my Dad. I wanted to have that Father Daughter dance that I never got to have on my wedding day. I told my husband thinking he’d think it was ridiculous, but as I explained what I wanted to do and the song that had come on the radio that I knew was just the right one, he agreed we should do it. * cue even more nerves* Now, I just had to ask my Dad. Hopefully he wouldn’t think I was crazy or ridiculous. So, I asked… and he said yes.

I have not shared this publicly before, but decided that today is the day! So… here it is… my dance with my Daddy! It was truly the start of something good!

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