As far as I saw it, being honest with my feelings was a betrayal of their contributions to my life. There came a moment though, where I could no longer deny what it is that I feel on the deepest level.
She warms up her cup of coffee that she has been sipping on all morning in the microwave then carries on with mundane post-breakfast tasks – cleaning up the dishes, wiping down the counters, and considering what we will eat for lunch. She is completely unaware of the bomb that I am about to drop in her lap.
Recently I was introduced to a form of poetry that was new to me called blackout poetry. Also called erasure or redacted poetry. I thought this would be a perfect technique to use when writing about adoption because of the redactions and erasures that we are subjected to as adopted persons. Redactions in our records … Continue Reading Redacted
I had worked diligently polishing my speech and speaking skills for months and now the time had finally arrived to see how well I had done. It was state competition day for DECA (Distributive Education Clubs of America) in Georgia. My membership in DECA came about when I signed up to take Marketing as an … Continue Reading First Flight
Both of these women have contributed to who I am and who my children are, as both blood and love pass through the generations.
Yesterday, as my family was enjoying a nice relaxing day at home we were chatting about the Super Bowl that would be played later in the evening and of course wondering what great commercials there would be this year. My husband took to YouTube to get a preview of the Super Bowl ads and that’s … Continue Reading Upstream
Today’s my birthday. For me, it’s usually a time of feeling a special, magical excitement. All through the years of my life, I have been surrounded by many people who have loved me and loved celebrating the day with me. So many birthdays have come with multiple parties, multiple cakes, a variety of presents, a … Continue Reading I’ll Cry If I Want To
Surprisingly, my most favorite quote about adoption came from my favorite TV show, This Is Us , which features the lives of the Pearson Family with “triplets” but one of them is adopted. In the 2017 episode titled “The Most Disappointed Man,”their trans-racially adopted son, Randall, has an epiphany about adoption and how it has … Continue Reading Defined
Anyone who has known me more than a minute knows how badly I have longed to have my original birth certificate; the one that actually contains the facts of my birth instead of the facts of my adoption. This obsession began when I found out that I was actually named at birth by my birthmom and became even stronger once I saw my name listed in the Virginia birth index. But upon my adoption, my original birth certificate was sealed away, never to be available to me. Or so I thought…
For some reason at that time, a crazy idea popped up in my head. (This is not uncommon, just ask my husband!) I wanted to put on my wedding dress and dance with my Dad.
If I wasn’t adoptedin her arms I would stay.But she was young without helpso I was given away. If I wasn’t adopted,she would be mine.Life might have been toughbut we would be fine. If I wasn’t adopted,she would have kissed my nose.I would have fed from her breastswhile she counted my toes. If I wasn’t … Continue Reading If I Wasn’t Adopted
I’ve been witness to many conversations where a woman expresses her desire to be a mother but she will not be having a child biologically due to her own health issues, or concerns about the risk of passing along genetic defects, or fertility issues, or fear of pregnancy and delivery, or to not contribute to … Continue Reading Just Adopt
As much as I wondered about my parents as a child, I may have wondered that much more about whether or not I had siblings out there somewhere. I knew nothing about my story of why I was adopted, but I assumed that it must have been because my mom was just too young to … Continue Reading Oldest of 5
As I recently celebrated my birthday, I was reflecting on the many wonderful birthdays that I’ve had throughout my life. I’ve always loved my birthday and it has always been a special and kind of magical day that I have felt a deep connection to. A connection almost beyond explanation. Many adoptees really struggle with … Continue Reading The One Thing
Pouring your heart out for all to read puts you in a very vulnerable place. Especially as an adoptee who is prone to people-pleasing in order to avoid rejection. I over think every single word in hopes that I am truly conveying my thoughts and feelings in a way that is relatable, engaging, and thought … Continue Reading Worth It
The day an adoption is finalized is typically thought of by many as a wonderful celebration of family, of love, of relief, of forever. But for me, it was the day that I was signed, sealed, adopted… and severed. With the single stroke of a pen, my fate was sealed (along with my birth certificate … Continue Reading Severed
As an adoptee, when you hear that phrase “Blood is thicker than water” it definitely makes you wonder where that leaves you. Everyone in your adoptive family shares something with each other that you can never share with them… blood. Thank goodness my family never made me feel less than, but the fact that you … Continue Reading Outsider
When adoptees want to know about or search for their biological families, some of the first things we are met with are “Why? They gave you away!” or “What will your parents think about that?” or “Don’t you know that you’ll hurt them?” or “We are your family, that’s all you need.” Many adoptees feel … Continue Reading Package Deal
Recently, on Facebook, I came across a post of an anxious expectant mom. She explained that she had two children at home and a third on the way but she did not currently have insurance coverage. She had to cancel all her remaining prenatal visits and she was very concerned about how she would cover … Continue Reading Unnecessary
Growing up, I essentially always knew that I was adopted since I was told at a very young age. My parents really never discussed being adopted with me past the initial talk and I felt strongly that I was not supposed to bring it up because they never did. I spent a lot of time … Continue Reading My Inconvenient Truth
Although I don’t remember the conversation, I knew from a very young age that I was adopted. I guess that it was also part of that conversation where I was told that the reason my parents decided to adopt was because they could not have a baby naturally. It’s not all that surprising because the … Continue Reading Second Choice: Adopted After Infertility
The bond between a mother and child is supposed to be the strongest bond that exists and it is said to be unbreakable. It is generally accepted that babies bond with their mother while in-utero and even before being born know the sound of their mother’s voice. In recent years, skin-to-skin contact with mom immediately … Continue Reading Still
Welcome to Signed, Sealed, Adopted! I am a wife, mom of two girls, a professional photographer, and an adoptee in reunion. I am much better at writing about my feelings than I am talking about them so I am usually inspired to write when I am experiencing something really exciting or really hurtful or really … Continue Reading Hello!